Mind Boggling Brain Juggling

Endings and Beginnings

So the Catherine Fitzmaurice 5 day ended, and since then it feels like I've been going a mile a minute (So naturally I haven't updated). I've been singing, dancing, and watching Tony award winning theatre (though if you know anything about me you know I don't really approve of the tony's). It's been a wild few days, so let me try to recap:

Rubbing Elbows with Famous People

I've spent a few days singing with Judy Blazer and Christopher Stephens. They may not be what Laymen would call 'household names', but they have certainly made careers out of performing, and in my book that makes you pretty spectacular. Also, I got to spend a few nights with Chauncey Jenkins, a young man who's performed on multiple broadways tours and had his final callback for Benny in "In The Heights" on Broadway. In my ballet class at Steps yesterday, we had one of the Rockets coming to do a little brushing up. Being up here is certainly humbling and eye opening, and it makes me really glad that I have two more years in school to get my act together and learn how to be a professional actor, 'cause I'm a long way from being ready.

The Young Review: Fences

One of the first plays that I ever read, Fences holds a special place in my heart. I first read it in Daydrie's beginning acting class, and it was very powerful, even back in the days when I struggled to read plays from an actors point of view. The story is an enrapturing one of the struggles of a Father trying to survive his daily toils, a wife trying to hold together a family, and a son trying desperately to make his way in the world. Denzel Washington is a fantastic actor; I've never heard anyone once complain about his acting in a movie, and he was just as impressive live. His sense of play was fantastic, he was in complete command of his voice and his movement throughout the play. The character arc, already expertly constructed by August Wilson, was one of the most impressive and touching I've ever had the opportunity to experience live. Holding her ground opposite the mega-star was the equally famous (and talented) Viola Davis. She, too, gave me an excellent sense of 'first time', which after the countless shows they've performed I find very impressive. The rest of the cast, not quite as lauded, brought it hard. There was not a moment in the play where I lost interest or felt that the characters were contrived. My biggest point of contention was with the audience. At every plot twist, gasps rang out in the audience. By the middle of the second act, when Troy reveals he has had a child by another woman, the young couple sitting next to me sighed and said "I guess no one read the play before coming." That made me happy, and sad; happy that I wasn't alone, but sad that right now, it seems star power is the only thing keeping Broadway rolling forward. But in this instance, Mr. Wilson, Mr. Washington, Mrs. Davis et al lived up to the hype; nay, EXCEEDED it.

The Young Review: Next to Normal

I went into this show prepared for a tear jerker, only to learn that no amount of preparation can ready you for a great piece of drama. With a set and lighting design that was far from realism, this show rang with the purest of human emotions and a real story that touched anyone with a pulse. The music was absolutely fantastic, and I believe that shows like this prove that the American musical is still capable of bringing original stories and music to the public in ways that are meaningful and touching. The set consisted of three levels of scaffolding with wall dividers that moved in and out rapidly, creating really cool effects and a very versatile set. The lighting was powerful and moved the story along masterfully. The actor playing Gabe was fantastic, but he is without a doubt the most gifted young singer I've ever heard live. He moved effortlessly between an impressive upper register and his falsetto (both of which were used frequently). The young girl playing Natalie had a pretty good voice, but watching her acting was very frustrating. She almost never made eye contact with her partner, something that I cannot believe was truly a character choice. However, she had the voice, the look, and the off-broadway resume to take the role to Broadway, so I suppose sometimes it is better to be lucky than good. The actor playing Dr. Fine/Dr. Madden looked EXACTLY like Zach Braff, and he even sounded like him (something I found both ironic and pleasing). Between Him, Alice Ripley, and Brian D'Arcy James' stand in, there were some incredibly powerful scenes. From the moment the show began, Alice was bringing it. Without a doubt, she deserved the Tony for Best Actress in a Musical. But one of the most frustrating aspects of the show was her singing diction. There were moments where her poor vowel construction actually caused her to go flat, something I would not expect of a headlining professional actress. Forgive me for having such high standards, but come on: this IS broadway we're talking about.

The Home Stretch

So I'm in the final days of my great summer adventure, and there's still plenty on the horizon for me. I'll try to do better on keeping this thing updated for the 3 of you who are bothering to read this!

The City so nice they named it twice!

Man, What A Week!

So I've decided the 'every other day' updates are a lot easier to write and a lot easier to focus. The past two days at Fitzmaurice are what Joey likes to call "Noodle Days". My brain has been doing back flips trying to keep up with all the various changes I'm asking my body to make, and it's extremely challenging. But that doesn't mean it isn't fun! Catherine and her crew have a way of making you work without realizing just how hard you're working. I had the chance to learn from a trained clown today (Yes, they do exist!)and I must say he absolutely wore me, and the rest of the group, out.

Tonight, we also went out to our group dinner. I had the chance to enjoy a few good laughs with Catherine (mostly about facebook and the tales of Joey), and it was a lot of fun to make connections and have really good conversations with my fellow students. Despite out widely varying backgrounds, we all come together and work hard. Whenever I have an experience like this, it's always special because I've been in group settings before where not everyone is committed to what is going on, and it really drags the experience down. Tomorrow is my last day, and after that my real adventures begin!

Two for the Price of One!

Shake Your Money-Maker

So the last two days have been very interesting. I've enjoyed two days of the smorgasbord (Pardon the spelling) that is the Fitzmaurice 5-day, and so far we've covered de-structuring and restructuring, two complex concepts enveloping the ideas of muscular relaxation, surrender to the body's natural rhythm, and coaxing the body to breathe in a more efficient manner. It's been a lot to take in, but I've learned a great deal and discovered tons about my own body and what helps it tick. But by far the most enjoyable part of the process has been sitting at the feet of the brilliant Catherine herself. I always used to laugh at how John referred to her as "Her Grace", but having spent 12 hours in her presence she certainly has a very Zen quality about her. But at the same time her intellect is incredible. She not only understands the spiritual and aesthetic applications of her work, but she also has a firm grasp of the visceral and scientific impacts. She is hoping that sometime soon a neurologist will come in and take measurements of what exactly happens to the body and the mind during a tremor. It is without a doubt the most tangible aesthetic experience I've had, and it's not even halfway over. To make up for my lack of a first-day blog, I will share with you some of my favorite quotes:

"I feel that all politicians should tremor."

"Diaphragms are A-political."

"I've talked to tons of neurologists and none of them have any idea what the fuck we're doing!"

"If you have an agenda in life, you're missing the point. Listen to what you feel!"

Aside from the 5 day, there's not much to report. I've enjoyed hoofing it all across the city to the various subways, almost got lost in Columbus Circle, and have eaten pretty cheaply for the past few days. Once the 5 day is over and I have more time to explore, I'm sure I'll have a lot of great stories to tell.

Day One: Buses, Trains, and Roomies

Nothing Like Traveling In The City!

Ah, New York City. Some of the finest public transportation in the world. However, today was kind of a scary day for me, as I haven't flown by myself in nearly 6 years, and this would be the first time that I had to find my way out of the airport! Not to mention, I had to make my way across Queens and Manhattan to Joel's apartment sans help and lugging a giant blue suitcase. But it was an adventure, and thanks to good planning on the part of the Colonel and a discerning eye I found my way in no time. I love cities like New York, Miami, and Chicago, because the grid system just makes sense. It's impossible to get lost as long as you can read, and the subway system can get you anywhere in minutes. Chase, Daniel and his brother Caleb met up with me and Joel at the Hard Rock cafe in Times Square quite easily. And between the lot of us, you'd think someone would get lost...

There's something about being in a big city that just feels like home to me. Between St. Louis and Washington, D.C. I certainly became accustomed to being around big buildings and lots of people without getting scared. I love to be around people, and I love to be busy and surrounded by plenty of things to see and do. The culture up here is very different, and much more actively promoting the arts. But you can see the signs of the struggle everywhere; signs asking people to invest in arts in the community, movie stars on broadway, sub par scripts and music making.... It's a rough time to be dreaming of making it as an actor. But hopefully, as Harvey Dent says, "The night is darkest just before the dawn." So maybe, with a little help from the likes of Catherine Fitzmaurice, Judy Blazer, and Chris Stephens, I can learn enough skills to land a job next summer and begin earning money as an real actor!!

So that was a bit rambly, a bit incoherent, and a bit redundant, but I know you are all dying for updates from the big apple!

And so it begins..

My Upcoming Romp Through The City!

So, I got pretty regular about this whole blogging thing for a while, then dumped it by the wayside as Brighton Beach, School, and other things began to cloud my vast intellect (Har Har). But seeing as how I'm about to embark on a two week journey that could very well change my life, I think it's a good time to start up again. Why? You ask yourself. Why would Ben think of us little people in the midst of this life-altering adventure? Oh, I'll feed you baby birds.

No journey worth undertaking is one you do alone. Take the Fellowship of the Ring, or Lost in Space, or any crappy SyFy movie; You need companions to make the journey more bareable and to keep your head on straight when it's spinning in circles. I hope that you, my reader, whomever you may me (most likely mom and dad, the only ones who love me enough to bother reading this garbage) will cast in your lot with me and enjoy the head trip that these next two weeks will be. There's sure to be adventure, improvise, magic, and if I'm lucky, I might just learn a thing or two about what it takes to become a working actor.

Catherine Fitzmaurice

Ah, the Grand Pubah herself! Catherine is the founder of one of the three major schools of thought on vocal performance in the entire world (Wikipedia her!). She teaches all over the world, and is teaching a 5 day intensive workshop in the City along with her fellow master teachers. Think of her as Yoda, supreme presiding wisdom over the Jedi council. She has gathered about her hand picked experts, teachers of the highest caliber each with their own specialty. These make up her Jedi council, masters of her way (The esteemed Joey Bates is one such master). I am one of the young boys you see in Episode one, barely old enough to walk, let alone master the force. Joey is my Qui-Gon, plucking me from rural obscurity to seat me before the masters and be trained in the art of breathing and vocal performance. Cool stuff, and it will be 5 days that will knead me into dough in the hopes that I can withstand the fire and become bread (Credit for the Star Wars analogy goes to John Tourtellote).

Sleep

I love it. And in the coming weeks, I probably won't get nearly enough of it. However, I can make sure I get plenty tonight, so farewell my chick-a-dees, I will write again tomorrow after I've arrived in Joel's matchbox!

Monday Morning Quarterback-ing

1-9

No, that's not one through eight. That's the record of wins and losses for the Saint Louis Rams. Blah.

I will say this for my Rams. Since trading our star middle linebacker, Will Witherspoon, to the Philadelphia Eagles, our defense has actually improved. So far, we've managed to hold two teams with excellent post season potential, the New Orleans Saints and the Arizona Cardinals, to just 21 points a piece. With the return of a healthy Marc Bulger, we've managed to at least start competing again. However, we still aren't winning. And with that, I plead again that we draft Sam Bradford. There are now only two other teams that are 1-9...the Tampa Bay Bucs and the Cleveland Browns. Tampa Bay has their future in a strong armed young player by the name of Josh Freeman from Kansas State, and I don't know about Cleveland's plans but they have someone who they believe can be their franchise player in Notre Dame's Brady Quinn. Oakland and Detroit, both 2-8, should finish with better records than St. Louis, and only Oakland will be in the market for a QB, provided that Toledo's Bruce Gradkowski doesn't continue winning.

Steven Jackson is a great running back. But at the most he's got 4 more good years in him. We need to start winning and start winning soon.

6 year drought

Dear, dear me. Mighty Michigan, the winnigist division - 1 football program in history, has now finished back-to-back losing season, and is in the midst of the worst losing streak to Ohio State in history. It's a pretty awful feeling. But like what I saw from Auburn this year, Michigan is in the midst of a transition to a spread offense, and some of the pieces are in place. There are flashes of brilliance in both teams, and moments when you really believe these teams are legitimate. The key difference between Michigan and Auburn is the decision to start the incoming freshmen stars.

Michigan, lacking a scholarship quarterback this season, had no choice but to play the star Freshmen Tate Forcier and DeNard Robinson. They have combined to throw nearly 20 interceptions this season and only 5 wins. They started 4-0, transitioning between the true spread run by Forcier and the Wildcat captained by Robinson. Thus, while the blame cannot solely be placed on one QB, the fragile mental state of these two young talents may have be compromised by starting their careers 5-7.

Tyrik Rollison, the hope of the Tiger Nation, on the other hand, has redshirted and spent an entire year learning a system and learning from the mistakes of players like Kodi Burns and Chris Todd. With another recruiting year to build the talent around him, and a lack of pressure to save a team from obscurity, Rollison appears to be in position to take over and lead this team to the promised land. One can only hope that Gus Mahlzon and The Chiz know what they're doing and can replace the terror of Ben Tate. Oh, and improving our defense would be GREAT.

The Bungles

Just when I thought the Bengals were ready to become a professional franchise, turnovers against the Raiders turn us back into a mere over-achieving team. The Steelers are having an off year again, which negates the value of our domination of our division. Not to mention Cedric Benson, the resurgent Texas Longhorn, is injured. Bah, I say, bah! My only hope is that the Tigers of Auburn can pull some miraculous upset over the Mighty Crimson Tide and save my second awful season in a row. You'd think with me being a fan of four different teams, I could eventually pick a winner. Bah.

A Letter to No One

Dear No One

Hello! It's been a while since you and I last had a chat. While I believe that it's probably for the best, you still seem to be making me part of your life. Now, I'm sure you'll disagree with that statement. However, take a step back and look: all that you've done since I decided to part ways is try to communicate with me both directly and indirectly. There was a moment where you and I almost resolved things, and in typical fashion I screwed it up. You and I had always had trouble communicating, and once you no longer believed I cared about you it was easy to take anything I said to the opposite extreme. I had a moment of selfish indulgence; You claimed that I hurt you, that every moment together was causing you pain, and yet I was not allowed to be hurt and need time to heal. To this day, I don't think you could admit how much you hurt me and how much pain I felt because of our parting. And I can understand this: someone has to be the bad guy. If there's no one to blame for what happened, it's harder to reconcile and make peace with yourself and the facts. And, of course, in everything you know about relationships and how dysfunctional they can be, it's always the man that walks out and ruins everything.

Indirectly, you've been pretty courageous hiding behind your keyboard. When you don't have to face someone and you're free to slander my name and my character through your snide remarks, it's easy to talk about how your moving on and making things better for yourself. But let's get real: when you're still talking about me 5 months or however long it's been later, you clearly haven't moved on. And it makes me sad. In talking to some of your 'friends' it has become very clear to me that you've got some problems that aren't being addressed by either you or these friends. It makes me sad, because I am realizing more and more that I really did leave you high and dry, which still hurts. That was never my intention.

So, in your most recent attack, you've sent out a warning. And that upsets me. I'm ok with you talking about how awful I was to you; you're right, I didn't do everything right, I gave up on us, and I got tired of trying. But you need to shut your mouth when you're talking about the nature of my character. I'm in a great relationship with a girl that loves me and understands and knows everything about me and still wants to be with me. She has turned my life around and reminded me that I deserve to be loved and I deserve to feel happy and that I deserve to enjoy my life. I don't want to take this time to bash you, because I think there are a lot of good things about you, and if there was ever something you needed I would be there to help you. But I cannot let you say things like this from behind your little keyboard and get away with it. If you have a problem with me and want to fight it out, come challenge me face to face. Most of all, attack the relationship, but how dare you attack me like this and once say you loved me.

That's all I've really got to say. Get over me and leave me out of your life. Oh, and I would really like my #12 Auburn jersey back.

Sincerely,

Ben